


Optic

by PhoenixandMuser



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Blindness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 22:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4684238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixandMuser/pseuds/PhoenixandMuser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seb is kidnapped and interrogated for months on end. One day he is found unconscious and badly injured, abandoned to die in a field somewhere in Russia. However, when Moran wakes up in the hospital, it becomes apparent that their problems aren't nearly over-- as he is now completely blind.<br/>For Peliga.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Optic

It had been months of fruitless, frustrating back-and-forth between Jim and his higher ranked employees. Months in which the only breaks Jim got from a bleak yet hopeful search were when he fell unconscious from sheer exhaustion. The flat was still and silent. While Jim often enjoyed the peace, now it was unsettling. Misfortune had struck too close to home, and he was approaching his wits end.

His phone chimed and his hand shot out to retrieve it from the empty seat beside him on the sofa. 

They had found Sebastian, and this time it was definitely his Sebastian, in a field in Russia. The farmer that had stumbled by him was almost certain he was dead, but called for him to be taken to hospital nonetheless.

Now, Jim had been provided to access to a live feed of the hospital’s CCTV. He scanned the grainy image, scrutinising it until he himself was certain that Sebastian was lying in the bed. With a curt nod to cement his confidence, he locked the screen and turned his attention back to his laptop. His fingers ghosted over the keyboard, eyes dull and tired. They had made progress, but the long journey ahead, and the state he would find Sebastian in weighed him down far too much to let him feel exultant in the slightest.

 

Jim felt like he was slipping. He could feel his consciousness clinging to his nearing-lifeless body. He wondered, as he lay on the hotel bed, which would give in first. His worn out body, or his tired mind? For once, it was quiet.

He sighed, and his eyes fell shut.

Muted light forced its way through the drawn curtains, Jim only needing a small disturbance to wake him. Filled with resentment over the two hours he had lost to this time zone, he went about getting ready for the day. He searched through the hospital’s database, taking note of their policies regarding his access to Sebastian, and locating him on their system.

Sebastian had no name on record, but Jim matched him to a file going by the description of him, and his injuries. With some fake photo ID of Sebastian’s proving his own alias was next of kin, he was satisfied that he would be able to see him when the time was right.

With a shake of his head, Jim closed the window detailing Sebastian’s state and continued with work.

 

Jim decided his rudimentary Russian would be enough to get him into Sebastian’s ward and forewent a translator. He did, with careful recollection of his research, convey the messages he wanted to give, and was led to where his chief of staff still lay unconscious. He would wake up soon, so the brunet took the seat beside the bed. He eyed the visible injuries with distaste. Cuts, stitches, burns and, bruises marred his sallow skin. He had lost a lot of weight and muscle tone. His leg was broken. He studied the monitors around the bed. Sebastian would survive, even if it was just out of a sense of duty.

 Eventually, the blond stirred. He groaned, holding still, unable to locate exactly where the pain was coming from. It was everywhere.

Jim lifted his head and looked across at him “About time. Just rest for god’s sake, you’re not going anywhere.”

“Jim…” he whispered, voice thin and hoarse.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Sorry...”

“You should be. You couldn’t have been abducted at a worse time; you missed a busy period.”

“What the fuck?”

“Good question, eloquent as always. As far as I can tell, you disappeared in March. It’s June now, which is lucky since someone found you in a field where you could have frozen to death a few months ago. I’m sure the picture will fill out eventually. Did you tell them anything?”

Sebastian shook his head slightly, wincing at the pain in his neck.

Glancing around to check they had no audience, Jim lifted his hand to stroke the blond’s cheek. “My brave little soldier, you did well.” He cooed.

A puff of air escaped Sebastian’s lips in a weak chuckle. Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking a few times. His panic would not have been visible had it not been for the heart monitor, which began to beat rapidly. “Jim?”

“Yes?”

“I can’t see anything.” His voice was barely audible.

“I know. I read your file, they thought you might not be able to see, after the damage.” He stated simply.

“Oh… How long will this last?”

“I’m assuming it’s permanent, so you shouldn’t wait around for it to clear.”

He closed his eyes again. “Right.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. He stayed silent for a while before attempting to speak again. “I don’t know what to do about that.”

“Get used to it.”

“It’s not that fucking simple, Jim. I need to see.”

Jim thought for a moment. “I’m not saying it’s easy, but you’ve always had sharp senses. You’ll adapt.”

“I’ll adapt, and you’ll trust me with everything you used to?”

“Why are you worried about work? You’re in a Russian hospital, smashed up like a china plate, leaving me to deal with everything myself. I think you’re failing to see the big picture.”

“I’m failing to see anything at all, you bastard.” His face was incredulous.

“That was poorly worded.” Jim giggled.

Sebastian sighed “It’s not funny. It’s really not. You couldn’t bear it, if your entire life was out of your reach. If you could never do your job again, you couldn’t handle what was left of your life, and you bloody well know it.”

Jim continued to smile. “I know. It wouldn’t even be silence, being bored, having no distractions is a big, nasty, screaming white noise. It’s not total darkness that’s messing with your head, is it, tiger? You just can’t bear feeling like the only one at a disadvantage, can you?”

“Shut up, Jim.”

They stayed silent for a long time after that.

 

“So…” Sebastian spoke, throat still raw. “Where are we?”

“A hospital in Smolensk. It’s a city in Russia, towards Belarus. You don’t appreciate how long it took to get here. Over 13 hours nonstop. I should have stayed in Moscow overnight and left you to wake up alone.” Jim lamented.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I needed to make sure you didn’t compromise our security.” He shrugged.

“Right. And where does this leave us?”

“Stuck in Russia until you sort your shit out. Broken leg, fractured knuckles, cracked ribs, you’ve more stitches than skin…”

“Sorry, are my bones not healing fast enough for you?”

“No, quite frankly, but I’m assuming your question wasn’t meant in the geographical sense?”

“It wasn’t.”

“If you continue to live with me, you’ll continue to work for me. You’ll have to find a way to adapt. How you do that isn’t my problem. Just because you’re blind and severely injured, don’t think you can coast through the rest of your life and have me spoil you.”

“This is the tender, loving care I’ve missed.” He smiled, despite the sting of his cut lip.

“Would you like me to don a nurse outfit and wait on you 24/7?”

“Honestly? I would.”

“Maybe when we go home.” He smiled, shaking his head.

 

Sebastian remained in the hospital for a few days more. Jim cleared the bill at the end of his stay, and together, they began the slow, painful journey back to London.

“You know, Sebastian, you’re being very spoilt.” Jim muttered, reclining in his seat in the business class carriage of the train.

“What now?” he sighed.

“You’re making everything harder than it needs to be. You realise this train is every four hours, don’t you? If we’d missed this just because you’d rather hobble around on crutches than get an electric wheelchair, I would have thrown you on the tracks.”

“I can get around just fine.”

“Geriatrics could overtake you.”

Sebastian gave Jim a scathing look.

Jim smiled “I suppose your determination to be up and about means you can be rehabilitated sooner. Then you can make yourself useful.”

“I feel fucking useless at the minute.”

“Is this where I try convince you to stop wallowing in self-pity, rather than letting you find out your own capabilities?”

“You’re a dick, Jim.”

The brunet shrugged. He moved to sit beside Sebastian on the other side of the table. Plugging his earphones into his phone, he gave one earbud to him, putting the other in his own ear. Settling down, he pressed play on an audiobook which Sebastian gathered was about the origin of the universe. He would have preferred a less scientific subject, but he appreciated the thought behind the action. He nudged Jim, and Jim nudged him back, the pair shifting to sit closer together.

 

Another train journey followed, although it was thankfully shorter. After a slow-passing wait in the airport, the pair finally made it to their seats on the plane. With a long sigh, Jim slumped in his seat, head lolling sideways to rest on Sebastian’s shoulder. It hurt, but Sebastian found he didn’t mind, and let his boss fall into the sleep he so badly needed.

Sebastian took the time to mull over his new situation. He thought about his livelihood, what was left, what he could be capable of in future. He wondered how Jim really felt. If he became a burden, would Jim stand for it? He could hold a gun to his head, and only realise at the last second. He always thought Jim would kill him, but the idea of being unable to see it coming unsettled him far more than the prospect of death.

Jim seemed so dismissive and unaffected by his disappearance and subsequent injuries that Sebastian began to think the brunet was bored of him already.

He was so lost in thought, he didn’t notice Jim wake. He flinched away when he felt warm breath in his ear as Jim leaned in to whisper.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

“We’ve still got another hour to go, go back to sleep.”

Jim’s hand slipped beneath Sebastian’s t-shirt, searching out a particularly tender spot, which he pressed on with a smile “I asked a question, I expect it to be answered.”

Sebastian grimaced “What do you think I’m thinking about? Fuck off.”

“Is it like being blindfolded? I’m curious…” he moved his hand away, resting it gently on the blond’s thigh.

He shook his head “No… When you’re blindfolded, it’s just about making it until you can see again. This is something else… It feels like loss. I don’t know if you’ve ever regretted losing someone. I don’t know if everything you are is all you ever were, but I suppose it feels like part of you has died, and you’ll never get it back. Do you know what I mean?”

“Hmm.” Jim closed his eyes again, settling against Sebastian’s shoulder once more.

“Nevermind…” he sighed.

 

The day was a long one, but when they set foot back in London, being so close to their home powered them through the short last leg of their trip.

 

“Next time you get kidnapped, I’m not coming to get you.” Jim groaned, flopping down onto the sofa.

“Good, I could do with a break from you already.” Sebastian retorted, moving on his crutches towards the sound of his voice and sitting beside him.

“Don’t get settled. You’re all gross, I need to get you cleaned up.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“It could, but since you’re arguing, I’m making you get up now.” He stood and pulled the blond up roughly. He led him to the bathroom, laughing coldly at his complaints. He sat Sebastian on the edge of bath and helped him off with his shirt and tracksuit bottoms.

Sebastian could hear water running in the sink, and Jim moving around the room, rooting through cupboards. The water shut off, and after a few small drips and splashes, he heard Jim approach.

“We don’t want to trouble the wounds or get your casts wet.” Jim murmured as he began gently cleaning the bruised skin, avoiding the stitches and welts. Every now and again, Jim stepped away to rinse the washcloth.

Sebastian let his eyes fall closed with a small smile. His smile disappeared when he caught a hint of the offensive smelling antiseptic which Jim was now soaking a cotton pad with. He could tell how Jim was trying to be careful as he cleaned his wounds, and he gladly ignored the sting of the vile liquid.

Jim broke the silence with a soft spoken promise to return quickly, as he left the room to bring fresh clothes to the blond. He brought back a set of pyjamas, helping Sebastian to put them on. He took two minutes to have a brisk shower, and together they retreated to the bedroom.

It took a while for Sebastian to get comfortable in bed, every inch of him sore, stinging, and tender. When he felt the bed dip beside him with Jim’s weight, he stilled and let the brunet curl up at his side.

“Do you know what I like about you, ‘Bastian?” he muttered.

“Do you want my sincere answer, or the perverted one?” he grinned.

Jim poked his bruised waist, then continued. “I like that you have a sense of indestructability about you. You just take everything in your stride. I could break you apart, over and over and over…”

“Cut to the chase, will you?”

“You always seem to bounce back as if nothing has ever hit you, or cut you, or burnt you…”

“Jim.” He prompted again.

“I want to see how you bounce back from this. If this is all it took to keep you down, well, I’d be disappointed.”

Sebastian frowned. A weight lifted from the mattress, and he suddenly felt Jim’s breath on his lips.

“Are you going to disappoint me, Sebastian?”

“This is different, some things heal, and this won’t. You get bored, it won’t be long until I’m just a broken toy to you.”

Jim lifted his hand and gripped the blond’s jaw “You’re not broken until I break you. Are you going to disappoint me, Sebastian?”

He thought the question over. If Jim’s aggressive persistence meant he had a plan for him, he wasn’t about to become a let-down. He could still feel how close Jim was. Slowly, he lifted his hand and pulled Jim down, joining their lips for the first time in months. He didn't care about the way it stung. When they parted Sebastian opened his eyes. Jim’s dark gaze bored into the clouded blue.

 

“I won’t disappoint you.”

 

 


End file.
